Reclaiming of the Soul

Soulyard

All that is left of her is the reflecting moonlight on her midnight hair. The rising mist has swallowed the rest of her and her silken cape. 

“Serena,” I yell, my voice crumbling with the leaves beneath me. 

Where could she be going so late at night? What could be so urgent? 

The moon shines – a flashlight in a dark, musty basement – catching the skeletal trees as they chant their secrets to the blackened sky. 

I know I must follow her, but I am afraid of the slithering shadows and their sharpened claws. 

“You must go to her now.” 

I swirl around and around searching for voice. 

“I can only protect her for so long.” 

It is the mist that speaks. 

I run now, into the forest, my bare feet leaving permanent impressions in the yielding floor. The trees move as I come upon them, opening a passageway, their bony fingers pointing the way. 

The mist begins to clear and I see her now, fallen, sobbing. 

“Serena, what has happened?” 

She looks at me with silver eyes and I turn away in fear. 

Her crying becomes ragged echoing off the tombstones and edges into a howl. I know I must save her, but how? 

I follow her crooked finger as sparks make contact with a metal object against a tree. 

A shovel. 

I run towards the tree, picking it up, and run back to her as quickly as I can. 

Her finger again shoots deep, blue sparks burning a circle into the forest floor and I begin to dig, somehow knowing this is something I must do. 

Clank! Clank! Clank! 

I bend down and wipe the surface of a rusted, metal  box. 

Here lies… 

The rest I cannot see. 

She pulls a large, iron key from her cape and slides it into the box. 

An explosion of light blinds me and I fall against the ground. 

She speaks: 

Oh dearest, fairest light

you know what is right

bring back my gift of sight

this enchanted, moon-filled night

and I will leave without a fight. 

If you turn against me

I will never, ever flee

bring to you such misery

take what’s mine away from thee

and forever you will cease to be. 

She repeats again and again. 

And the struggle between light and dark begins.

 ****

I awaken in the softness of my bed. Morning broke. 

That was the strangest dream I have ever had. 

I stand in front of the mirror curling my crooked fingers around the handle of my silver brush raking it through my silky, black hair, my eyes a smoky, smoldering hue of gray.

Inspired by Soul Food Cafe’s Halloween Prompt “Three”

Published in: on September 23, 2009 at 4:19 pm  Comments (2)  
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The Fire

The Fire

The fire, so destructive and yet, it can clear a path that was never there before – one unimagined even in the greatest of minds. 

There is a small flame, just recently lit, that resides in a tiny chamber within my heart. It is working tirelessly to clear a path between my heart and my soul but is starved and dying. I am protecting it, fearful that the air it needs to breathe might extinguish it forever.

I am protected by layers of ashy skin so that no one can see who I am. It is thick and never stirred by even the strongest of winds and I wonder each day as I view the unfamiliar image in the mirror: 

When will I have the courage to wipe myself clean? 

How many layers will I have to remove to get to the raw, pink flesh? 

When will I let it breathe so I can finally heal? 

I feel infinitesimal in a world so incomprehensibly large – a spec in the vast expanse of the universe. My voice is barely perceptible among the screams of others’ pain. I cannot find the solid ground with which to shed this ashy skin. The lines on my paper are disappearing, the ink bleeding out until it is empty, and still I cannot find the courage to let the fire burn. I am afraid of the heat, afraid of what I might find, afraid of what others might see underneath that which has melted.

Published in: on September 14, 2009 at 10:13 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Just Wait

The Message

They are the words that flow within my veins; the reminder again and again to lay low, hide, stay invisible, don’t get noticed. They are the words my dad spoke every time I made a new friend or accomplished something of great value. They were a reminder always a reminder:

Just wait till they find out who you really are…

He spoke cruelly quite often but these are the words that stuck to my skull only to be peeled away later and dispensed into my veins in the form of fear and shame. They are the words that have imprisoned me, kept me from moving forward, stuck to one place with no power to move.

Just wait till they find out who you really are…

I realized just recently that these words hold no truth. How can I be ashamed of who I really am when I don’t know who that is? I never got the chance to learn. I only knew myself through my parents’ eyes and that was hideous enough. I never looked any further.

Just wait till they find out who you really are…

I wrote these words and placed spaces between them, colorful spaces, alive spaces. They turned out to be just words. They have lost their power, their meaning, now that I have placed them atop their own little island – just plain, simple words. I can float around them now in my own sea of creation, free to remove my feet from the muck that has bound me to them, free to go wherever I want. Free.

Just wait till they find out who you really are…

No, you do not hold your power anymore because I have the strength to rewrite you now.

Just wait till I find out who I really am, dad.

I will be UNSTOPPABLE.

Published in: on August 22, 2009 at 7:46 pm  Comments (3)  
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Serpent Prayer Flag – We Are All One

We are all different parts of a whole...

We are all different parts of a whole...

Published in: on May 17, 2009 at 8:02 am  Comments (7)  
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Francesca Lets Go

“I am so afraid,” Francesca said as she ran her fingers slowly through the tuft of fur between Maya’s ears, her bright crimson nails visible through the dull grey. Francesca could tell Maya was wise and that this was not her first journey down Serpentine Road, but still she could not stop the anxiety that was filling her mind with dread.

“I will protect you,” Maya said, gently, trying to ease Francesca’s fear.

“Why do I always think of the worst possible scenario?” Francesca questioned – more to herself than to Maya.

The sky was glowing with swirls of pink and orange, the blue barely visible as the sun began to set. The clouds were smudged thin, lacy over the burgeoning colors. The journey was going slowly for Francesca. She was so unsure of herself that she could not make even the smallest decisions. A fork in the road kept her busy for hours as she created stories of disaster for each path before her. She was paralyzed by her lack of self-confidence, but Maya stood patiently beside her knowing Francesca must find her own way or have the courage to ask for help.

“I should never have left the Abbey,” Francesca said, “I should have never let Sarah talk me in to this. I just wasn’t ready.”

Maya led Francesca to a lake hidden beyond the lush green trees. It glittered with the last remnants of the sun and Francesca had a sudden urge to jump in. Maya stood at the edge and drank from the clear, pure water. The sound of rushing water falling endlessly from the rocks above drifted through the silent air. Francesca slowly removed her clothes and stretched her body towards the darkening sky and a feeling spread through her that she had never felt before.

She slowly inched the tips of her toes towards the water wanting to get a feel for the temperature before entering. It was warm and cool at the same time. It was a new sensation and she could no longer wait for it to embrace her skin. She slipped into the water, her footing unsure on the slick, black rocks. She paused under the waterfall and let its healing powers flow through her.

Francesca emerged a new woman. She stood on the edge of the lake refreshed and renewed.

“I’m ready now, Maya,” she said, “Thank you for being so patient with me. I am going to need your help, knowledge, and guidance if I am going to make it to the House of Serpents. Will you help me?”

“Oh Francesca, I have only been waiting for you to ask,” Maya replied, “We will begin in the morning. You have much to learn my child, but I am here to guide you through whatever may come your way.”

Francesca curled next to Maya that night letting Maya’s breaths lure her to sleep knowing that she could handle whatever came her way with Maya by her side.

Published in: on May 15, 2009 at 8:09 pm  Comments (7)  
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Francesca Begins Her Journey to Rainbow Beach

Sarah received an announcement that the S.S. Vulcania was embarking on a new adventure. She wasn’t ready to leave the Abbey yet. She had a lot of soul work to do and she didn’t want to move on. Her thoughts were interrupted when Francesca passed by her in the small hallway.

“Francesca,” Sarah called after her, but Francesca didn’t stop. Sarah followed quickly behind her until Francesca stopped in the large arched door leading to the grounds.

“Let’s go to the fields,” Francesca whispered. She opened the door slowly trying not to arouse suspicion and they quickly slipped out into bright morning sun, its warmth enveloping them.

They walked down the stone path, a brisk wind blowing the leaves from the large trees lining the path. The path opened up into a large expanse of fields designed to bring travelers staying at the Abbey closer to nature. Everything was silent except for the sound of the grass caressing each other as they yielded to the strength of the wind.

In her excitement over the new pending adventure, Sarah had forgotten that today was a day of silence at the Abbey, a day for introspection. She realized this as they stood at the mouth of the large fields.

“I’m so sorry,” she said to Francesca.

“It’s okay,” she replied, “What was so urgent that you broke your silence?”

“The Vulcania is getting ready to depart on a new adventure to Rainbow Beach. I am just not at a point that I can leave. Would you like to go in my place?”

Francesca looked quizzically at Sarah.

“Look,” Sarah continued, “I know you are ready to leave here and that you have been waiting for just the right opportunity to come along and push you in the right direction. I think this is it.”

Francesca remained silent, her face belying her deep contemplation of the emergence of this sudden but intriguing opportunity.

“Come back with me,” Sarah said, “I will show you the message I received from Enchanteur. Everything will be provided for you on this journey. Come, let me show you, there isn’t much time.”

“Yes, let’s take a look,” Francesca responded, a bit apprehensively.

Sarah knew it would take some convincing to get Francesca to agree to take this journey in her place. She wasn’t sure why she was so invested in Francesca accepting this, but it was something she felt strongly about. She had remembered someone telling her that there were no mistakes. The strong feelings certainly could not be a mistake. She was sure that this new adventure was meant for Francesca to take; tailored for her, really.

They turned back towards the stone path leading to the Abbey. The wind was at their backs now pushing them back with such force that it seemed to agree with the urgency of the situation.

Sarah had become more in-tune with her inner guidance – her intuition – since coming to the Abbey. She had a lot more work to do, she knew that, but she liked this new connection. She liked the new feelings that were arising from this connection. She liked the freedom that trusting herself was bringing to her.

They reached Sarah’s door to her room. Sarah pulled her key from her pocket. It was an old, ornate key with a red ribbon tied in the large oval hole at the top. The key was part of the process, part of the beauty of opening the door to her private space. It was a space where miracles happened before her eyes; a safe space that allowed her to confront what haunted her, what held her back from becoming who she wanted to be.

As Sarah put the key in the lock and twisted knob, the door sprung open releasing a spray of golden sparkles as the sun met with tiny specs of dust. She knew this was a sign. She had seen these golden sparkles before and they always signaled something good was about to happen. She knew right then Francesca would go. She needed to give her all the information she had so that Francesca’s transition would be as painless as possible. Francesca had been here at the Abbey for quite some time. Sarah could feel her anxiety at leaving, her fear was palpable.

“There is a time, though,” Sarah thought, “when you have to let things go and just jump in.”

It was Francesca’s chance to do that now and Sarah would do everything she could to help her.

Sarah pulled out the rolled parchment announcement from her special drawer inside her large wooden wardrobe. She began to fill in Francesca with all the details.

“It is a journey to Rainbow Beach. It will not be an easy journey to take but will fill your soul with joy upon its completion. You will meet at the Rose and Swan and there will be a donkey waiting for you. Her name is Maya. You will know her immediately. She will be carrying a pouch on her with special gifts from Enchanteur that you will need to make your journey a success. You will be required to relinquish seven things during this journey. I have the first gift for you to give to the Keeper of the Mine.”

Sarah went back to the wardrobe and opened the two doors wide. She opened her secret drawer once again and pulled out a beautiful, purple velvet pouch. She opened the pouch and pulled out a clear crystal gem. Sarah knew it would be an extraordinary gift, given its immense power, and that the Keeper would know this immediately and would guide Francesca in the right direction.

“You must gift this to the Keeper of the Mine so that you can continue on the journey. You will know from then on what you need to surrender. I can only provide the first one for you.”

She pulled something else from the velvet pouch. It was a shiny silver key with a bright purple ribbon threaded into the hole at the top.

“This is a key to my cabin on the Vulcania. This is specially made for you. You must go there now and wait for the horn at the stroke of midnight signaling your journey is to begin. You will know what to do from there.”

Francesca’s eyes began to fill with tears. She was ready and Sarah could see how grateful she was at being given such a gift. She took the velvet pouch in her hands, stroked it a few times and then placed it in her pocket. The two women embraced, each wishing the other luck, and Francesca quickly disappeared out the door. Sarah knew that she would pack her things quickly, say her goodbyes, and head to the Vulcania. She lay down on her bed, sinking into its softness, letting it comfort her and fell into a deep sleep that would last until late afternoon.

Published in: on April 4, 2009 at 10:21 am  Comments (7)  
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The Whispering Trees of Owl Island – Part 2

I woke up to the sound of the ocean waves and the birds serenading the day into existence. I had the strangest dream and I am sitting here trying to remember the details. Through the window I can see the waves dancing with the sand. I can hear the rustle of the trees yielding to the same warm gentle breeze that blows the sheers in my windows like ballerinas around my room. They are a symphony: the birds, the waves, the sand and the trees; a beautiful symphony.

“Oh,” I say, the dream beginning to wind its way through my cobwebbed mind.

Then I remembered…

I was walking down a luminescent path as the whispering trees guided me and then suddenly everything was still, silent. I continued to walk but was stopped by a translucent wall that was impassable. I could see the other side of the path through the wall and as I focused my eyes on the wall itself an image appeared. It was a beautiful woman with eyes calming as still water; a face delicate as strands of silk; hair, rolling curls of golden wheat. I moved closer trying to see her more clearly and I realized that she look quite familiar. I reached out to touch her and when my hand touched her face a bright light emanated from her and I instantly became aware of her identity.

She was me without the pain, the anger, the fear. She was me without the judging eyes, the mistrust, and the exhaustion.

I stepped back, stunned.

“What is this?” I asked.

“You are embarking on a journey that will bring you peace as you have never known,” she said, “But it will not be easy. With each stop on this journey there will be a lesson to learn, a trespass to let go of. You must open your mind to the process. There, beside you, is a book of blank pages. Each destination will fulfill a chapter of your life and will appear on the pages of this book. When you reach your final destination your book will be filled with all you have learned, all you have experienced, all the progress you have made. It will serve as a reminder to you of where you have been and all that you have created for yourself.”

She continued, “Your first destination is already written on the first page. As you complete each lesson, your next destination will appear upon the page. Go now with your mind open to miracles. Release all that you have come to know as truth and welcome the healing that life can bring to you. Let go of the past for it is no longer beneficial to you. Open your heart and accept this gift of love.”

I bent down and picked up the beautiful leather bound book with the golden edged paper. I opened the cover of the book and on the first page was written The Lemurian Abbey. I felt a tingling sensation throughout my body and then I awoke in my small, stone cottage, with the symphony of life playing all around me.

“What a strange dream,” I think, and suddenly have the urge to dig my feet into the warm sand. I want to see everything on Owl Island. I want to feel the ocean’s rhythm. I want to absorb life from the sun.

I step out of bed and open the weathered wooden door and it was then that I see it.

Sitting there on my front porch is the same book from my dream.

“Whoa!” I took a step back like a snake was about to strike.

“Was that not a dream?” I sat back on my bed staring down at the book.

It may have been minutes, maybe hours, before I mustered the courage to pick up the book. My name was inscribed in the leather and as I opened the cover, The Lemurian Abbey was written on the first page.

I knew what I had to do and packed up the few things I had brought with me and prepared for the unknown journey ahead.

Published in: on March 14, 2009 at 11:09 pm  Comments (8)  
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The Whispering Trees of Owl Island – Part 1

The trees are whispering secrets in the dark as I navigate Owl Island. I can hear them calling me and I try not to listen.

“We have a message for you,” they say.

I cannot decide if I want to hear it or not.

“Am I ready for this?” questioning my sanity even as the words leave my lips.

I have been frozen with fear for so many years following the same circular path that brings me back to this fork in the road – my current path and this small dirt trail that leads to the whispering trees. I have denied them, pretended they did not exist, but they are getting harder to ignore. It is not that they are more persistent or more welcoming; it is that I am wearied by the familiar path.

“We have a message for you,” I hear their quiet whispers travelling on the breeze and gently caressing my face.

“I am not sure yet,” I say and lie down in the open space of the V where my choices are split – as is my decision.

I am well equipped for the darkness. I have a special night vision that was bestowed upon me by the enchanting night traveller Miriam. When the golden sparkles of her last breath entered my eyes they brought with them everything she had seen. I was not a night traveller before that moment. I was spellbound by her ability to illuminate darkness, but I was too afraid to accompany her on her journeys.

Just moments before she left the earth she handed me a small, jewel-encrusted treasure box. When I opened it I found this note:

I did not follow her directions, did not willingly accept her gift. I refused to go out when darkness descended each evening and until I embarked on this most recent journey, I had never experienced its power.

I had a taste of the magic my first night aboard the S.S. Vulcania when I spent the evening with some very interesting spirits on the deck beneath the moon glow. They told me not to fear, that this journey would give me what I had always been seeking – peace. I don’t know if I believe them. I have been hopeful before and then crushed into small pieces. I have spent so much time building a mosaic of my former self from those pieces. I do not want to get crushed again.

The moon has a magical red hue tonight. It is mesmerizing. Miriam told me about the beauty of Owl Island. She told me of the whispering trees and how they transformed lost and damaged souls. Year after year I have come here, seeking their wisdom, but have chosen the familiar path again and again never waiting for darkness to come. Now, as the velvet green grass comforts me, I welcome the darkness and the gift that she entrusted to me. Beauty is emerging everywhere as I have never seen it before.

“Come, let us show you the way,” they say and I stand and follow their soft, sweet sounds.

“I am ready now,” I tell them, “please show me the way.”

Just then, large stones burst with a brilliant glow on either side of the small dirt trail and I follow their warmth into the mystical haven of the whispering trees.

Published in: on March 8, 2009 at 12:01 pm  Comments (10)  
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The Haunting

Warm Vanilla Moon

Very late at night, there are not many passengers on the deck. I wonder through the halls and out to watch the large moon. I feel like I want to jump into its beautiful pool of warm vanilla. It is at this time of night that ghosts from the past come calling, flowing through the ships cabins, through the dreams of those sleeping, through the never ceasing minds of the night travellers. I am here on this journey to get to know the ghosts that haunt me and to make peace with them – wherever they may lurk. I must go now, it is time for me to invite them for a chat under the moonlight.

Published in: on March 6, 2009 at 2:03 am  Comments (10)  
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My Cabin

Angels Golden GlowI’ve taken a late leap onto the S.S. Vulcania and now I must set up my cabin the way I wish it to be. I have to play catch up as the ship set sail in January and I am just now joining my fellow shipmates.

My large cabin suite:

My angel lamp that gives off a soft golden glow as I write.

A large four poster bed complete with deep purple velvety linens.

A large solid oak desk with lots of space for my fabulous creating tools.

My unopened box of 120 crayons because I long to open them every day.

My book collection – I cannot go anywhere without them.

Walls made of never ending purple paper that I can write on when I get inspired.

My laptop so I can let everyone know how my journey is going.

My colored pencils, my gel pens, and my colored markers.

My learn how to draw book.

A fabulous new camera so that I can share the beauty of my travels.

Lots of flowing clothes so that I can feel as free as I want to be.

A large stack of beautifully adorned notebooks for writing.

My special reading nook with my favorite leather recliner and soft, warm, fluffy throw.

Reading Nook

Published in: on March 6, 2009 at 12:42 am  Comments (4)  
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